Monday, October 6, 2008
You know, that awkward kind of "pat on the back / shake your hand / but not real close hug like thing" that men do when they have to. To me, a Man Hug is something you do when you have to, and you've known the person for a long time. Like an uncle or brother, a special friend or something.
So what the heck happened when suddenly that is how you feel when hugging your own son? When did THAT happen? I remember picking him up, rocking him in the middle of the night, carrying him around and protecting him and now I'm confused how to greet him - a hug or a handshake? Where did the little kid that I used to pickup and hug without question go to?
Time is brutal when it comes to watching your child grow up - you pray everyday that they WILL make it, that they WILL succeed, and they WON'T get hurt or lose their way but it also HURTS to watch those special moments disappear when you least expect it. Things like reading 'Hank the Cowdog' books at bedtime, playing Legos on the living room floor, or watching him take his first ride on his scooter, bike, and motorcycle realizing that the car is next. Heck, he's already driving the car around the lot...
It's proud moments of seeing learning, success and growth interrupted by suddenly obvious transition points when he starts kicking your butt in video games (long time ago) and playing guitar - both real and the "Hero" versions better than old "Dad" ever will. It's moments of fear when you think about the 'big bad world' that he will have to face followed by calm when he holds the door open for the little old lady, says thanks and remembers to put the toilet lid down every time without any prompting.
Those are the moments when you think - he'll make it - he's a great kid... or teenager... or young adult... Wow - whatever he will be the next time you turn around.
I have to say live life by planning for the future but enjoying every minute you can. I think I'll go give my son a HUG. Happy 13th Birthday Austin!